fight club
FIGHT CLUB
By Jim Uhls
PG 1
SCREEN BLACK
JACK (V.O.)
People were always asking me, did I know Tyler Durden.
FADE IN:
INT. SOCIAL ROOM - TOP FLOOR OF HIGH-RISE - NIGHT
TYLER has the barrel of a HANDGUN lodged in JACK'S MOUTH. They
struggle intensely.
They are both around 30; Tyler is blond, handsome, eyes burning with
frightening intensity; and JACK, brunette, is appealing in a dry sort
of way. They are both sweating and disheveled; Jack seems to be losing
his will to fight.
TYLER
We won't really die. We'll be immortal.
JACK
oor -- ee-ee --uh -- aa-i --
With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels.
Jack tongues the barrel to the side of his mouth.
JACK (still distorted)
You're thinking of vampires.
Jack tries to get the gun. Tyler keeps control.
With my tongue, I can feel the silencer holes drilled into the barrel
of the gun. Most of the noise a gunshot makes is expanding gases. I
totally forgot about Tyler's whole murder-suicide thing for a second
and I wondered how clean the gun barrel was.
Tyler checks his watch.
Three minutes.
Jack turns so that he can see down -- 71 STORIES.
PG 2
The building we're standing won't be here in three minutes. You take a
98-percent concentration of fuming nitric acid and add three times as
much sulfuric in a bathtub full of ice. Then, glycerin drop-by-drop.
Nitroglycerin. I know this because Tyler knows this.
Jack manages to SHOVE Tyler away. Then, he leaps onto him and they
fall onto a table, then roll off onto the floor. The gun falls and
slides. They wrestle with each other, then dash for the gun. Tyler
gets there first and grabs the gun. DURING THE ABOVE:
The Demolitions Committee of Project Mayhem wrapped the foundation
columns of this building with blasting gelatin. The primary charge
will blow the base charge, and this spot Tyler and I are standing on
will be a point in the sky.
Tyler drags Jack back to the glass wall and forces him to look out at
the city skyline.
This is our world now. Two minutes.
Two minutes to go and I'm wondering how I got here.
MOVE IN ON JACK'S FACE.
SLOWLY PULL BACK from Jack's face. It's pressed against TWO LARGE
BREASTS that belong to ... BOB, a big moose of a man, around 35 years
old. Jack is engulfed by Bob's arms in an embrace. Bob weeps openly.
His shoulders inhale themselves up in a long draw, then drop, drop,
drop in jerking sobs. Jack gives Bob some squeezes in return, but his
face is stone.
Bob had bitch tits.
PG 3
PULL BACK TO WIDE ON
INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASIUM - NIGHT
All the men are paired off, hugging each other, talking in emotional
tones. Some pairs lean forward, heads pressed ear-to-ear, the way
wrestlers stand, locked. Near the door a temporary sign on a stand:
"REMAINING MEN TOGETHER".
This was a support group for men with testicular cancer. The big
moosie slobbering all over me was Bob.
BOB
I owned my own gym. I did product endorsements.
You were a six-time champion.
Bob, the big cheesebread. Always told me his life story.
We're still men.
Yes. We're men. Men is what we are.
Bob cried. Six months ago, his testicles were removed. Then hormone
therapy. He developed bitch tits because his testosterone was too high
and his body upped the estrogen. That was where my head fit -- into
his sweating tits that hang enormous, the way we think of God's as big.
Bob hugs tighter, then looks with empathy into Jack's eyes.
Maybe it's just seminoma. With seminoma, you have a hundred percent
survival rate.
The Leader steps forward and signals everyone.
LEADER
Okay. Group hug.
PG 4
Everyone converges into a cluster with arms thrown around shoulders,
making a big mass of sobbing, smiling goodwill.
No. Wait. Back up. Let me start earlier.
INT. JACK'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Jack lies in bed, staring at the ceiling. He hears VOICES from beyond
the wall. A FLY buzzes over his face. He swats at it, missing.
For six months. I couldn't sleep.
INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY
Jack, eyes puffy, face pale, sits before the Doctor, who studies him
with bemusement.
DOCTOR
No, you can't die of insomnia.
Maybe I already died. Look at my face.
You need to lighten up.
Can you give me something?
Little red-and-blue Tuinal, lipstick-red Seconals.
DOCTOR (overlapping w/ above)
You need healthy, natural sleep. Chew valerian root and get more
exercise.
The Doctor ushers Jack to the door. They step into the
INT. HALLWAY
Where the Doctor starts moving away from Jack, picking up a chart on a
door.
I'm in pain.
PG 5
DOCTOR (facetious)
You want to see pain? Swing by Meyer High on a Tuesday night and see
the guys with testicular cancer.
The Doctor moves into the other room. Jack stares after him somberly.
PULL BACK TO WIDE ON:
Jack stares at a group of men, including Bob, who are all listening to
a group member speak at a lectern. The speaker has death-white skin
and sunken eyes -- he's clearly dying.
SPEAKER
I ... wanted to have three kids. Two boys and a girl. Mindy wanted
two girls and one boy. We never agreed on anything.
The Speaker cracks a sad smile. Some men chuckle, happy to lighten the
mood.
Well ... she had her first girl a month ago ... with her new husband.
Thank God, because she deserves ...
The speaker breaks down and WEEPS UNCONTROLLABLY. Jack is riveted. He
barely breathes. CUT TO:
INT. GYM - LATER
A Leader herds people into pairing-off.
Find a partner.
Bob starts toward Jack, shuffling his feet. Jack watches him, still
moved by his experience, face full of intense empathy.
The big moosie, his eyes already shrink-wrapped in tears. Knees
together, invisible steps.
Bob takes Jack into an embrace.
He pancaked down on top of me.
PG 6
Two grown kids ... and they won't return my calls.
Strangers with this kind of honesty make me go a big rubbery one.
Jack's face is rapt and sincere. Bob stops talking and breaks into
sobbing, putting his head down on Jack's shoulder and completely
covering Jack's face.
Then, I was lost in oblivion -- dark and silent and complete.
Jack's body begins to jerk in sobs. He tightens his arms around Bob.
This was freedom. Losing all hope was freedom.
Jack pulls back from Bob. On Bob's chest, there's a WET MASK of Jack's
face from how he looked weeping.
Babies don't sleep this well.
INT. JACKS' BEDROOM - NIGHT
Jack lies sound asleep.
I became addicted.
INT. SMALL PROTESTANT CHURCH - NIGHT
Jack moves into a "group hug" of sickly people, men and women. In view
is a sign by the door "Free and Clear".
I felt more alive than I've ever felt.
INT. OFFICE BUILDING BASEMENT - NIGHT
Jack pulls back from a group hug of more sickly people. They pair-off.
Jack stands with a weeping middle-aged WOMAN. He gingerly takes her in
his arms, pats her back. He begins to cry along with her. In view is
a sign by the door: "Onward and Upward".
PG 7
If I didn't say anything, people assumed the worst. They cried harder.
I cried harder.
INT. CATHOLIC CATHEDRAL - NIGHT
Jack is in an embrace with a YOUNG MAN. They are both weeping.
I wasn't really dying. I wasn't host to cancer or parasites; no, I was
the warm little center that the life of this world crowded around.
INT. PUBLIC BUILDING CONFERENCE ROOM - NIGHT
Everyone settles in their seats and a Leader takes the microphone.
Okay, everyone, close your eyes. Imagine your pain as a white ball of
healing light. Go down your secret path to your cave and join up with
your power animal.
EXT. ENTRANCE OF CAVE (JACK'S IMAGINATION)
Jack walks up to the entrance and out comes a PENGUIN. The penguin
looks at him, smiles.
PENGUIN
Slide.
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
Jack walks out of a doorway, saying goodbye to people. He walks down
the sidewalk, his face shining with peace.
Every evening I died and every evening I was born. Resurrected.
CUT BACK TO:
PG 8
INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASIUM - *RESUMING*
Jack still hanging in an embrace with Bob.
Bob loved me because he thought my testicles were removed, too. Being
there, my face against his tits, getting ready to cry -- this was my
vacation.
MARLA SINGER enters. She has short matte black hair and big, dark eyes
like a character from Japanese animation.
MARLA
This is cancer, right?
She raises a cigarette to her lips. The men gape at her, dumbfounded.
And *she* ruined everything.
CUT TO:
INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASIUM - LATER
Everyone paired-off. MOVE THROUGH ROOM and catch snippets of
intimate, painful CONVERSATION.
FIND JACK'S FACE as it stares, over Bob's shoulder, eyes full of deep
hostility.
Liar. Faker. Liar.
MOVE THROUGH ROOM, hearing more CONVERSATION.
FIND MARLA'S FACE, over the shoulder of a MAN she's being embraced by,
SMOKING, blowing smoke rings.
This ... chick ... Marla Singer... did not have testicular cancer. She
had no diseases. She was a liar. I saw her at "We Shall Overcome," my
melanoma group Monday night ...
Marla sits with the group, smoking, while a member speaks. Jack glares
at her.
PG 9
...
frodomustdie