The Confidence Code The Science and Art of Self-Assurance.pdf

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Dedication
For our daughters,
Maya, Poppy, and Della,
and our sons,
Felix, Jude, and Hugo
Contents
Introduction
1 It’s Not Enough to Be Good
2 Do More, Think Less
3 Wired for Confidence
4 “Dumb Ugly Bitches” and Other Reasons Women Have Less Confidence
5 The New Nurture
6 Failing Fast and Other Confidence-Boosting Habits
7 Now, Pass It On
8 The Science and the Art
Notes
About the Authors
Also By Katty Kay and Claire Shipman
About the Publisher
Introduction
There is a quality that sets some people apart. It is hard to define but easy to
recognize. With it, you can take on the world; without it, you live stuck at the
starting block of your potential.
There’s no question that twenty-eight-year-old Susan had plenty of it. Like
many of us, though, she was terrified of public speaking. Susan had a lot to say
—she just didn’t like the spotlight. She confessed to friends that she spent many
sleepless nights worrying about upcoming performances, fearful of being
ridiculed. Her early speaking efforts weren’t great. But she kept at it. Armed
with a sheaf of notes and protected by her sensible dresses, she fought her nerves
and delivered her controversial message over and over, often to extremely
skeptical male audiences. She knew she had to conquer her fear to do her job
well. And she did, becoming a very persuasive public speaker indeed.
Susan B. Anthony, the voice of women’s suffrage for the United States,
worked for fifty years to win women the right to vote. She died in 1906, fourteen
years too soon to see what she’d accomplished, but she was never deterred—
either by her vulnerabilities, or by the fact that victory was always just out of
reach.
Just making the trip to school every day, as a girl in modern-day Pakistan,
requires that same quality. And then to imagine, as a twelve-year-old, that you
can challenge the Taliban by calling for education reform, blogging to the world
as schools are blown up around you, absolutely demands it. And it calls for a
huge dose of something remarkable to keep going, to keep fighting for a cause,
after being pulled off a bus, shot in the head by extremists, and left for dead at
fourteen. Malala Yousafzai has courage, to be sure. When the Taliban announced
they intended to kill her she barely seemed to blink, saying: “I think of it often
and imagine the scene clearly. Even if they come to kill me, I will tell them what
they are trying to do is wrong, that education is our basic right.”

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