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Anita Moorjani

20 1 6 S E PTE M B E R /O CTOB E R

U N ITY MAGAZ I N E

Photo Credit: Tanya Malott

found herself in a

place she could only

describe as heaven.

With startling clarity,

she looked at her

life and saw what

had previously been

clouded by fear

and doubt. When

she chose to return,

understanding that

heaven is more

a state than a

place, she shocked

everyone by leaving

the hospital fully

recovered in a matter

of weeks. She now

shares what she

learned on the other

side in her lectures

and books, including

What If

This

Heaven?

published

this month by Hay

House. Here, she

explains to

Unity Magazine

editor

Katy Koontz

just how powerful we

really are when we

truly love ourselves.

Anita Moorjani

Listening in With …

In 2006, in a coma

and dying of cancer,

Love Yourself!

Katy Koontz:

Your new book

emphasizes that loving yourself

is not selfish and is in fact

necessary before you can truly

love anyone else. Can you

elaborate?

Anita Moorjani:

When people

ask me at what point loving

yourself becomes selfish, I

always say that question misses

the point. At

no point

does

loving yourself become selfish.

We have been engrained with

the belief that self-love equals

selfishness, and we’re so afraid

of being judged for loving

ourselves. We seem to think

that people who love themselves

are narcissistic divas who are

obsessed with their image. But

it’s the people who

don’t

love

themselves who are constantly

overcompensating by being

narcissistic and vain and

drawing attention to themselves.

The less you love yourself, the

more you need other people to

prove that you’re lovable. That

becomes your agenda.

When we

love ourselves,

we know we’re lovable. We

don’t need to prove it. We’re

actually very happy sitting in the

background because we know

we have something to offer the

world. We don’t need to keep

shouting it from the rooftops.

We’re quite content to allow

other people to shine as

they

discover the knowledge of who

they

are too. Our cup overflows,

and so we want to share it with

everyone else.

KK:

I wish we grew up

understanding this.

AM:

We really need to teach

it to our children. People

think today’s kids are spoiled

because their parents tell them

they’re wonderful, no matter

what, and that they’ve become

selfish because they have too

much self-love. But these kids

are a product of parents who

don’t love themselves, and

this

is the energy they’re

picking up on. Plus they don’t

go out and play with other kids.

They’re glued to their devices,

and when that happens, it’s

easy to misinterpret things.

Kids

are

obsessed with

their image and how they

come across. But all of that

is due to lack of self-love. It’s

not from loving themselves

too much. Self-love gets

conditioned out of them.

We need to reverse that.

KK:

So the combination of

parents not setting a good

example plus kids diving into all

the electronic media is a bit of a

toxic combination?

AM:

Yes. Parents ask me, “How

can I focus on myself when I

have kids? That’s selfish. I have

to focus on my kids.” If you’re

constantly sacrificing yourself

and putting yourself last, that is

what you’re teaching your kids

to do. They learn from what

you do, not from what you tell

them. You’re just perpetuating

the cycle.

KK:

I love how you take ideas

people have taken for granted

all their lives and give them a

different twist that makes so

much more sense. That’s often

all it takes to open up to a whole

new level of truth.

AM:

When I was in that near-

death state, the feeling I had was,

Oh my God, how could we have

got it so wrong? How come we’re

doing everything back to front?

KK:

I’m intrigued with your idea

of watching for synchronicities

as an indicator of how in the

flow you are.

U N ITYMAGAZ I N E.ORG

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AM:

Here’s a great example: My

husband Danny and I had been living

in an apartment right on the ocean.

I started to feel I needed to be a little

more grounded, and I wondered if

I was supposed to live a little more

inland. But I

love

the ocean, so I didn’t

act on the feeling. Then my landlady

said she wanted our apartment

back. Normally, there’s

always

a sign

outside our building advertising “two-

bedroom apartments available.” I

figured we could just push our stuff

KK:

So the Universe was conspiring in

your favor!

AM:

Exactly, and that’s why I tell

people to just allow, trust. You can’t get

it wrong.

KK:

In making decisions, both big

and small, you pay attention to

whatever

feels

right. How can you

be sure your feeling is truly your

soul’s preference instead of your

ego’s preference?

know what this feels like because I’ve

experienced reaching what I

thought

was the end of my life, and I found

I didn’t regret things like failing.

Instead, I regretted the things I didn’t

do because I was playing it too safe

or being too fearful.

KK:

You’ve said that if we can

be comfortable with uncertainty

and release our attachment to a

particular outcome, it opens us up

to the realm of infinite possibility.

We’re actually capable of

out of one apartment and into

another. But when I looked for the

sign, it wasn’t there. The building

was full! We waited a week, then two

weeks, and finally we had to start

searching for another place. We found

one we really liked that was a mile

inland. I kid you not, the very day

the new landlady gave us the key to

the new place, we headed back home

to our old apartment and the sign

advertising “apartments available”

was back up again.

KK:

I love that!

AM:

The Universe was determined

not to let me move into another

apartment in the same building.

It’s as if it was saying, “You had the

ocean for a year. That’s enough.

Now go get grounded.” And you

know what? In this new place, I’m

functioning differently. I

feel

more grounded.

so much more

AM:

When we make a decision from

our ego, we tend to base our decision

on the fear of what the outcome will be

if we

don’t

do this. But when we choose

what’s in line with our soul’s purpose,

the decision comes from a place of

love—it feels right, you feel passionate

about it. It gives you a buzz, a sense of

excitement. You’re not saying, “I better

do this because I don’t want to fail,” or

“I don’t want to look bad or embarrass

myself.” Those are all ego-based

decisions.

KK:

So even when it doesn’t make

logical sense, you can really trust

your heart.

AM:

Yes. I tell people who are facing

a big decision to imagine they have

reached the end of their life and

then ask themselves which option

they are more likely to be grateful

they had taken, or which one they

are more likely to regret not doing. I

than we believe we are.

But in our goal-oriented society, that

seems counterintuitive. How can we

learn to make that shift?

AM:

I believe goals limit our

potential because they come from

the perspective of where we are

right now. But things grow and

change faster if you allow them to.

We’re actually capable of so much

more than we believe we are. But if

you tell somebody that, then they

come up with lofty goals, and then

if they can’t reach them, they beat

themselves up.

I suggest not coming up with

goals altogether and seeing what the

Universe delivers. Never in a million

years could I have dreamed up what

I am doing today, and yet nothing

could be more fitting for me. I didn’t

figure it out, though. The Universe

did. Even if I had allowed myself to

dream big, I still wouldn’t have come

up with this.

20 1 6 S E PTE M B E R /O CTOB E R

U N ITY MAGAZ I N E

KK:

It takes a lot of trust in the

Universe then, right?

AM:

All you have to do is just find

your joy in this moment. Even if

you have other obligations, make a

commitment to do at least one thing

that brings you joy each day. Even

doing just that will bring you closer

to who you truly are. And the more

you become who you truly are, the

more the Universe will give you what

is truly yours.

AM:

It’s a three-step process.

First, acknowledge your feelings

and accept where you are at the

moment with no judgment. Just

love yourself wherever you are

with what is going on. Then, ask

yourself,

What would I want my

best friend to do for me while I’m

going through this?

And then do

exactly that. Support yourself the

way you’d support your best friend.

Finally, ask yourself what the gift is

that the Universe is giving you.

When I had cancer and I was dying,

the possibility of me being dead and

staying in the other realm existed as

well as the possibility of me coming

back and living the life I have now.

Once I knew that I was meant to live

and decided to come back, I also

knew that I was already healed, and so

my body reflected that very quickly.

I didn’t feel that I had to spend the

next three years healing. I knew I

was already healed because I saw that

possibility in my future.

I suggest not coming up with goals altogether and

KK:

You make no bones about the

fact that you’re not a fan of positive

thinking. Why not?

seeing what the Universe delivers.

KK:

So you need to prime yourself

before you ask that last question, right?

AM:

Exactly—it’s hard to just dive

right into that.

KK:

You’ve touched on some really

interesting ideas about time not

being linear on the other side, with

every moment in time existing

simultaneously. What does that mean

for us in this physical reality?

AM:

If I’m starting something at Step

1 and I want to attain Step 10, I believe

I have to go through Steps 2 to 9 to get

there. But actually, if I can internally

become the person that I would be

at Step 10, I would bring Step 10 to

me without going through Steps 2

to 9 because Step 10 already exists.

Different possibilities of who I am two

years, three years, and four years from

now already exist.

So there are a

lot

of potentials out

there waiting. What happens depends

on what you bring into your present

moment. It’s sort of like looking at a

huge picture on the wall, and as you

get up really close, you see all the

pixels, all the dots that make up that

picture. Imagine one of those dots is

you in your physical life now. You then

have a choice of jumping to any one

of the other dots next to that one—to

the right, to the left, above, below,

or diagonally—each one bringing a

different experience. And then from

that dot, you again have the choice

of which dot to jump to. All those

possibilities exist all at once. So when

we take a step back and look at our

past, we can see we’ve created a linear

timeline in going from one dot to the

next, to the next, to the next. But when

we look at our future, it’s not linear.

That whole sea of dots lies before us,

and it just depends on which dot

CONTINUED ON PAGE 35

AM:

I used to believe that our thoughts

create our reality, and so whenever

I experienced anything negative, I

believed I must be having negative

thoughts that created it. When you

believe that, you start fearing your

thoughts. Then it’s hard to have an

authentic experience. Yet the negative

feeling will pass. The more we deny it,

the more we’re denying our truth. The

more we resist it and push it away, the

more it pushes back.

KK:

That reminds me of a

suggestion in your book: When

something negative happens, ask

yourself,

If this were actually a gift

from the Universe, what would it

be here to teach me?

That’s a great

reminder about shifting focus.

U N ITYMAGAZ I N E.ORG

S E PTE M B E R /O CTOB E R

2016

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 25

we choose to bring into our present

moment.

KK:

So given this plasticity, how much

of what happens in our lives is destiny

and how much is driven by free will?

AM:

I think we come into our lives

with an intention of reaching our

highest potential, our destiny. But it is

our free will as to whether we choose

to attain that or not. So go back to the

dots. Each dot is one point in time,

and we’re always choosing the next

point from the dots around us.

If you’re choosing from a place of

fear, then the next dot you choose will

be the one that reflects that fear. But

if you’re choosing from a place of joy

or love or passion, the next dot that

you choose will reflect that. What

you create in linear time depends on

whether you’re feeling fear or

whether you’re feeling joy, love, and

passion in each present moment.

If we make our choices from a

place of love instead of fear, if we

choose to pursue our joy instead of

pursuing what’s safe, then we will

attract a very different path—and

that is our choice. If we always

choose from joy, from passion, from

love, then we will actually attain our

highest potential, our destiny.

KK:

So we make our own luck—there’s

really no such thing as a lucky person?

AM:

Right.

KK:

On a similar note, you didn’t see

your cancer as a punishment or bad

karma so much as a consequence of

fear and of not loving yourself. There’s

a fine line between recognizing cause

and assigning blame, isn’t there?

AM:

Some people accuse me of saying

that when someone has cancer, it’s

their fault, but I’m absolutely

not

saying that. When I had cancer

and people would tell me that

my negative thoughts must have

created the cancer, I felt angry and

really frustrated because how do

you change your thoughts? That

makes you afraid of your thoughts.

So I’m

not

assigning blame, but I

assigning the responsibility to

move forward.

Here’s another way to look at

it. If you were abused as a child,

in absolutely no way is that your

fault. As an adult, though, you

have a choice of either blaming

your childhood for everything that

is going wrong for you or taking

responsibility for your life and

making it better.

KK:

You can pick a different dot.

AM:

Exactly. What happened in your

past is not your fault, but you don’t

have to carry it into your future.

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