Hustler 2006 01.pdf

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NELECTRA, KATE MOSS
&
MORE IAI LING
INSOMNIAC'S
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DEATH
ON ICE
JANUARY 2006
S7.99
www.hustler.com
What's the most embarrassing
thing you can think ofl
Oh, sure, you
fucked your husband's brother ... and
father ...and uncles. Plus,
you
did
that horse
and most of the
Harlem
Globetrotters circa
I979- except Curly.
Honesty is really important.
So
admit you boned
Curly
too.
Now
after 27
abortions and endless doses of RU486, you're
tinally interested in
using
birth control. There
are things you must admit to your doctm Like
you once worked as a hooker, and you may
once have been a man.
You must also tell your health-care
professional if you smoke,
because he
knows you're a crack ho.Just look at you aching
for the pipe. Can't wait to suck that glass dick
again, can you?
Hormonal birth control has been
used safely by millions of women for 45
years.
But not you. Or your mother. Or even
your grandmother. Hell, you come from a
long
line of sluts. Legend has it that your great-
great -great-great-great-grandmother fucked
Columbus, Magellan and all the Harlem
Globetrotters circa 1979.
Including
Curly, but
not Geese Osby. Oh, hell, him too!
Be smart about your birth control-and
for the love of God, please have a doctor look
at that vaginal rash.
DUMBHO
WOMEN'S HEALTH.
Be smart about your body; be smart about your birth control ...
USE
SOME!
HUSTLER Parod : This is not a real ad, but ou ladies reall need to use some birth control.
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TEL:
(310)787-8005
FAX: (310)787-1
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Photography by Smokin' Gun
JESSICA JAYMES
&SASCHA
Making a Deposit
Photography by Laurent Sky
REEFER MADNESS
Halliburton's Chilling
Storage of Cadavers
Report by Mark Johnson
EVELYN LORY
& Mill JAY
Fill in the Blanks
Photography by Matti Klatt
BINDING JENNA
A Peek at Ms. Jameson's
Very First Bondage Flick
by Director Ernest Greene
GIGI
Private Dancer
Photography by Holly Randall
PUBLISHER'S STATEMENT
by Larry Flynt
CASSIA RILEY
Hotter Than Hell!
Photography by Matti Klatt
FEEDBACK
Correspondence From the Home Front and Iraq
NIKA & VITO
Collision Course...
Photography by Matti Klatt
ASSHOLE OF THE MONTH
BITS & PIECES
HUSTLERizing Music City, Bugs as Art,
Rove Spoof, Head-Turning News Babe,
Scarlett's Fantasy Blowjob and More
TORY LANE
Blow Me!
HOT LETTERS
DUMBHO WOMEN'S HEALTH
Birth Control Parody Ad
•
Who Was That Horny Masked Man?
NATIONAL GUARD
Political Commentary
.
88
89
HUSTLER HUMOR
EROTIC ENTERTAINMENT
Blue-Movie Showcase Featuring
Orgasmic Jenna, XXX Twins
&
Stormy's Comedy Idol
FREE SPEECH FORUM
Peace Activist Blasts Femi-Nazis
by Jeff Norman
104
105
GAME ON
Top-Notch War Games
ONE SOLDIER'S STORY
Disillusionment of an Iraq War Veteran
Interview by Bruce David
r - - - - - - - j
& Carolyn Sinclair
AURAL PLEASURES
Insomniac's
Dave Attell, Disc Reviews,
2005's Hottest Music Festivals
by Tom Farrell
SUTTON IMPACT
Ward Sutton's
Stinging
'Toons
108
109
119
TOM CLANCY VID-GAME WORLD
TECH KNOW
Nifty New Gadgets
HOW WE
LOST IRAQ
Reporter Aaron Glantz
on Bush's Fiasco
O&A by Bruce David
& Carolyn Sinclair
HUSTLER ON
CAMPUS
Boob-Tube Improv
Report From UCLA
by Ryan David Sandoval
FURY IN FALLUJAH
u.S. Civilian Documents Iraqis' Plight
by Mark Manning
120
REAL COLLEGE
GIRLS
Golden State Hotties
STRIPPED STARLETS
Bai Ling, Kate Moss, Carmen Electra
Expose by Keith Valcourt
154
BEAVER HUNT
Dozen New Amateurs . . . .
111~

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